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Behind the scenes of "Ask a transgender Christian"

- October 18, 2012

A young woman I greatly admire is Rachel Held Evans . She is an amazing author, blogger, speaker, wife, mother, and a seriously articulate progressive Christian writer and blogger who is not afraid to enter into conversations that would make many others run and hide in their little dogma houses. Earlier in September of 2012, Rachel contacted me to see if I would be willing to be interviewed as part of her popular blog series titled "AKS A…" Would I be willing to be in the hot seat for "Ask a Transgender Christian?" My new friend Justin Lee, executive director of the Gay Christian Network (GCN) and author of the soon to be released book "Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate" suggested me as the person to ask. (In the same way, Justin is the person Rachel chose for the "Ask a Gay Christian" interview. Having followed Rachel for several months, my initial reaction to her email was disbelief and trepidation, given t...

The parents who are afraid of SOGI have been played.

- September 30, 2017

On Tuesday, Sept. 26, a group of about 100 people stood outside the Langley Schools District 35 office in support of the Trustees who had recently approved the SOGI 123 curriculum. (I won’t go into the SOGI specifics, anyone can review it for themselves at www.sogieducation.com .) Photo by Brad Dirks (no relation to Paul Dirks). Among those holding up signs and standing in solidarity with the trustees, were students, family members, friends and allies of LGBTQ students. I wasn’t able to attend, since my current occupation had me stuck in downtown Vancouver. During the two weeks leading up to this peaceful rally, I was in communication with a few individuals who were responding to another group of parents. This first group had voiced strong opposition to SOGI, with a well-organized initiative that included a Facebook page and a website to raise money. The Langley parents who are afraid of SOGI gathered a few weeks earlier to listen to their organizers, who incl...

“You can ride on my lap.”

- April 24, 2018

Added a Postscript at 8:00 p.m. PDT on April 25, 2018 Five years ago, I spent a week in Fort Lauderdale to attend a trans-related medical symposium. One of the event’s highlights was meeting Jazz Jenning and her mother in person. Jazz is a well-known trans girl who became famous when Barbara Walters interviewed her in 2008 at five. In her late teens, she starred in her reality TV series, “I am Jazz.” The other highlight was staying with my first cousin, Carlos, and his wife, who live in Ft. Lauderdale. Carlos drove me to the airport on Tuesday for my return trip to Vancouver via Chicago. As he pulled away, my phone vibrated. A text message from United Airlines told me my 4:15 flight to Chicago was delayed until after 7:00 p.m. I panicked. I rushed into the airport and went to the United Airlines ticket counter. I told them I had a problem. I was scheduled to catch a connecting flight from Chicago to Vancouver at about the same time I would be boarding the plane in Ft. Lauderd...

Paradox = Father’s Day for a trans woman.

- June 13, 2014

It seems innocent enough to have a day to celebrate fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society. The Salazar family, summer 2002. If one’s relationship with their father was good, this day of honor will seem completely appropriate and welcomed. This yearly reminder could be extremely painful if your dad did not deserve this kind of respect. Equally, if you’re a trans woman who fathered children, this day can either be good or a bad—if not surreal—experience. It all depends on the kind of relationship you now have with your children. Father’s Day is extremely painful when your children have rejected you and want nothing to do with you. As far as they are concerned, you might as well be dead. It hurts. However, If your relationship has survived, you can count yourself lucky. I was fortunate on two counts. On the one hand, I had a loving dad, and, best of all, despite his relatively old age, when I came out to him (he was 89), he accepted me. O...

The Acceptance Meter: How well are trans persons accepted?

- December 18, 2012

I n preparation for a workshop I will be giving in January, I took a survey of transgender persons to quantify how well they have been accepted. The results were sobering, but not entirely surprising. The reality seems to be that we humans adapt much easier to strangers than to those with whom we have a history. As the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt. Even Jesus experienced this when He tried to minister among his own family and neighbors. In a recent survey that I took I asked trans persons to rate how well they had been accepted/affirmed by three groups: family, old friends and acquaintances, and new friends and acquaintances. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 was outright rejection and 10 was unconditional acceptance, the results were, well, disappointing. Families scored 5.7 (the ratings were spread across the spectrum), Old Friends/Acquaintances were rated at 4.9 and new F/A rated the highest, at 8. This helps explain why so many trans persons have foun...

“Oh, I’ve heard about that happening.”

- August 25, 2018

An unexpected (and unforgettable) end of story. A couple of weekends ago, I went to visit my Mom. My sister arrived unexpectedly a short time later with her grandson, who is eight years old. Figuring the last thing the little guy wanted to do on a summer afternoon was to sit indoors with three older women, I said, “Let’s walk to the convenience store at the gas station; it’s only three blocks away, I’ll buy you a candy bar.” My niece's son... He gave me hope for the future. We trundled off talking about candy, and as we passed the elementary school a block away, he asked, “How old are you?” Hum, I thought to myself, I wonder why he wants to know my age? “I’m sixty-seven, almost sixty-eight,” I replied. “Oh, then you’re older than my dad. He’s fifty-one,” he remarked. Then he asked, “Do you have any children?” At this point, I realized I had never spoken to my niece, his mother, about how much and how soon he should be informed about my ‘real’ position in the family ...

Me too. But some of you already knew that.

- September 22, 2018

Coincidental with my Class of 68’ 50th high school reunion, the reports of Republicans bullying Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, who question her memory of the attempted rape by Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, has thrown me into a bit of depression. I’ve been triggered. I am here, in a motel room in San Jose, California, where my high school reunion is to take place in an hour. Earlier this afternoon, I drove to the two locations where I was sexually abused and raped. I remember all the details. I may not know the name of my attackers, but my body and brain remember how it felt to be forced to masturbate a man who was one of my paper route customers. I was 12 years old. I resist the compulsion to wash my hands for, God only knows, the millionth time. Then there was the rape when I was 15 years old. Someone who purported to want to help me audition as a rhythm-guitar player in a garage band and had offered to drive me to a house in Willow Glen, a neighborhood in San J...

My thoughts after 10 years as Lisa.

- July 17, 2018

I took a leap of faith on the third Saturday in July 2008. It was either that or leap to my death. As scared as I was of what lay ahead, it was less frightening than the thought of never having experienced what it felt like to live authentically. I'm happy to still be here, as Lisa. A topic garnering much attention in social sciences is intersectionality, the categorizations of race, class, and gender as they apply to a given individual or group. It is regarded as creating overlapping and interdependent systems of discrimination or disadvantage. Add to this idea the questions we ask and the answers we get as we explore our world as children and in our youth. What assumptions, expectations, and conclusions do we draw? Do they set us up for success or failure? Same-sex attracted and trans and non-binary persons navigate and view life through a lens that often makes them imagine a future that is frightening. Fear of rejection, ridicule, and abandonmen...

A note to fearful pastors: Don't worry, trans people aren’t likely to break down the doors to your church any time soon.

- January 02, 2015

Some thoughts in the aftermath of a young trans girl’s tragic suicide on Dec. 28, 2014. Lelaah, you left too soon. A recent survey indicated close to 70% of transgender persons wanted nothing to do with organized religion. You don't need to be a rocket scientist to imagine why this may be so. I would not be surprised, given the viral reaction in the trans community to Lelaah Alcorn’s death, if that number isn’t 90% by now. If you haven’t read the story, here’s the Google search link. Or see this on MSNBC Interestingly, one reality that is emerging in my research is that the church is not seen as a place of refuge by trans persons. As a matter of fact, most trans people would rather stay away—forever. Who walks bleeding into a lion’s den? Despite the fact that there are conversations happening, they are likely to be akin to “preaching to the choir.” Churches that genuinely want to be or are already inclusive will continue to be few and far between. It’s won...