LISA SALAZAR — BLOG

Based on a 2014 survey, this essay revisits what trans lives reveal about inner life and spiritual endurance at a time of renewed religious hostility. In the fall of 2014, I set out to ask a deceptively simple question: what does spirituality actually look like in the lives of transgender people?

  In January 2017, Avery Jackson appeared on the cover of National Geographic. Just nine years old, they declared to the world, “The best thing about being a girl is, now I don’t have to pretend to be a boy.” For a moment, it felt like the future might finally open with hope for trans kids everywhere. Avery’s face shone as a symbol of possibility, and their family stood courageously behind them.

A Life Behind the Fence, My Journey Toward Self-Acceptance AI-generated image of how I felt growing up What happens when the loudest voices in your life are the ones inside your own head?  The Muddle Huddle is a distilled memoir of inner conflict, dogged questioning, and the long road to self-acceptance. Through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and storytelling, I revisit the voices that shaped, and often silenced, my journey as a trans woman. But this isn’t just a trans story. It’s a shared human one, about what it means to make peace with yourself, one truth at a time. This piece was inspired by a poem I wrote for a 2017 NYT feature on Trans Lives; I adapted it for the Prologue below.

A Hopeful Reflection for Troubled Times: The Quiet Power of Family Love There was a time when I carried a hidden burden, uncertain if the people I loved most would still see me—truly see me—if I revealed my deepest truth. But when I finally shared my journey of becoming Lisa with my parents and my sons, the walls I had lived behind for so long crumbled. In their place, love remained—unconditional, steadfast, and freeing. Since then, I have woken up to a life where transparency and trust are no longer distant dreams but daily realities. And now, years later, I look at my granddaughters—the next generation—and marvel at the quiet but profound ways love and understanding continue to expand. It’s what gives me hope for the future. When my oldest granddaughter, barely school-aged at the time, softly told me, "I know you are my Daddy’s Daddy," it was a moment of pure grace. She saw me, not with judgment or confusion, but with the natural acceptance that children so often model for ...

In 2015, The New York Times ran a groundbreaking editorial series, The Quest for Transgender Equality. It was bold, urgent, and unequivocal: trans people deserve dignity, legal protection, and full inclusion in society. As part of that series, the Times invited transgender people to share their experiences in Transgender Lives: Your Stories , an evolving collection of personal narratives that reflected the strength, diversity, and challenges of the trans community. I contributed to that series . Like so many others, I believed the Times was genuinely invested in telling our stories, in shifting public perception toward empathy and understanding. Back then, the paper seemed to recognize that trans rights were not just an abstract political issue but a deeply personal, lived reality. That was ten years ago. Last weekend, the Times ran another editorial on transgender rights. This time, it was in response to Donald Trump’s sweeping attacks on trans Americans — executive orders targeting h...

I have three reflections, as I refer to them, that intertwine with my journey as a transgender person. The first one was sparked upon hearing about the tragic loss of another trans person in January 2014. A year later, in January 2015, a moment of clarity enveloped me one serene Sunday morning. The third emerged through my contribution to a special issue dedicated to Trans Lives, featured in the New York Times in September 2018. Because calmness is precious to me While I don’t consider myself a poet, and writing presents its challenges, there are moments when inspiration strikes, compelling me to articulate the emotions deep within my heart. At times, the words flow with ease, yet, more often than not, I find myself wrestling to capture the essence of my thoughts. It may require numerous attempts before the precise expression emerges. Recently, I embarked on a project to weave together the varied themes from these three reflections into a singular piece.  Journey to Myself In the q...

What I’ve Learned from Science, History, Personal Experiences, and Meeting Other Trans Persons. Just like anyone diagnosed with a medical condition, I’ve dedicated significant time to educating myself about my reality as a trans person. Over the years, I’ve explored and contemplated my not-so-unique situation, accumulating valuable insights and personal experiences. Let me share what I’ve learned and discovered along the way. This knowledge has brought peace to my soul. Scientific evidence increasingly underscores what many have experienced and understood anecdotally: being transgender is not a choice, but rather a deeply ingrained aspect of identity. Some transgender individuals, who have participated in neuroimaging studies, such as functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI), assert the presence of a "gender identity nugget" deep within the brain. This nugget seemingly signals gender identity, much like a fish instinctively understands the concept of water. The majority o...