Journey to Myself
I have three reflections, as I refer to them, that intertwine with my journey as a transgender person. The first one was sparked upon hearing about the tragic loss of another trans person in January 2014. A year later, in January 2015, a moment of clarity enveloped me one serene Sunday morning. The third emerged through my contribution to a special issue dedicated to Trans Lives, featured in the New York Times in September 2018.
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| Because calmness is precious to me |
Recently, I embarked on a project to weave together the varied themes from these three reflections into a singular piece.
Journey to Myself
In the quiet before dawn’s light,
I faced the mirror, seeking sight.
A visage blurred by time’s cruel jest,
Yearning for the calm within my chest.
With every dawn, I dared to dream,
Of a world kind, not as harsh as it seemed.
Through whispered fears and silent tears,
I walked the path of countless years.
The chrysalis, once tightly bound,
Became the space where hope was found.
From shadowed pasts and whispered doubts,
Emerged a truth, both bold and stout.
I peeled away the layers, thick,
Each one a mask, a heavy brick.
Beneath the facade of yesteryears,
Lay the essence of my fears.
But with each layer shed, I found,
A strength within, and most profound.
A spirit fierce, a heart reborn,
A light that shone both bright and warm.
In the reflection now, I see,
The person I was meant to be.
Not bound by shadows, nor by pain,
But free to live, love, and attain.
Through anxious and confusing times,
I’ve come to find a truth sublime;
I’ve made peace with all my past,
resilience is what I now find.
For in the flaws, the cracks, the scars,
Lies the beauty of the stars.
A tapestry rich, woven tight,
With shards of darkness and shafts of light.
So here I stand, in light of day,
On a landscape shaped by the fray.
My heart, my soul, forever free,
To be the truest form of me.
