“Dear Sir”

This had been the greeting in recent letters from the Canadian Revenue Agency (CRA). I called them to complain, but though the person I spoke to was very sympathetic, she could not change the gender marker responsible for the misgendering. She could not access this option; it was above her pay grade, and she gave me another 1-800 number to call. After wading through the menu options and waiting in the queue long enough to hear the “due to heavy volumes…” blurb several dozen times, I finally spoke to a real person who listened to my request and politely informed me I had to call another government office.

After another 1-800 routine that lasted another twenty minutes, I learned I had to contact another office. After over one hour of phone calls, I was finally given instructions for what I had to do. 

This insignificant one-letter change could only be done by going in person to a Canada Services office, and I would need to bring my Canadian citizenship card, my passport—both of which show my gender as female—and my Social Insurance card.

This morning, after a short wait in the reception area of the Canadian Services office in Burnaby, I was finally able to get this gender thing updated in the government’s central registry. I asked the representative if this would affect future correspondence with federal agencies. His answer: “It won’t be instant. This could take months for all computer accounts to be updated.” This young man had not processed this kind of request before and asked for permission to ask me some questions, a detail I greatly appreciated. He wanted to know if I had been required to have surgery before I was given a new citizenship card, which of course, is what I had to do.

Canada had come a long way, but I had already undergone a legal name change. When my citizenship card was reissued, I had met the requirement for getting the M changed to F. How is it that this information did not also affect the central registry? How many hoops does one need to jump through to be recognized officially as the gender of your identity? And what about all those transgender persons who choose not to have the surgery or are not allowed to have the surgery for medical reasons, or who are waiting to have surgery in the future? Why can’t the process be less onerous and demanding? Such a minor aspect of transition, yet one that seems to cause so much angst.

I can’t wait to get a letter with “Dear Madame” as the greeting. How long should this take?

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