Posts

On Pointing Fingers and Being Out of My Gender Non-Conforming Comfort Zone (an admission)

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Who Made Me Gender-Role Police? The story is titled “About a Boy: Transgender surgery at age sixteen” by Margaret Talbot in the New Yorker Magazine (March 18, 2013). It talks about how many more females are coming out as transgender now than in the past. But as I reflected on the amazing progress trans people have made in recent years, it made me aware of my own subtle bias about gender-role conformity. Indeed, my doctors tell me that compared to twenty years ago, when it seemed that twice as many males transitioned to females than females to males, today there is equilibrium in the numbers, with as many females as males identifying as transgender. Margaret Talbot says this: In the past, females who wished to live as males rarely sought surgery, partly because they could “pass” easily enough in public; today, there is a desire for more thorough transformations. The subject of her story is a young transman named Skylar who underwent top surgery at sixteen, a much younger age than wou...

Homosexuality & Christianity: Interview with Kathy Baldock

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Here is a link to Matthew J. Roth's interview  with my friend Kathy Baldock. If you want to know the etymology of the words "homosexaul" and "heterosexual" and how they ended up in the Bible, you need to read this great interview! Click on the photo to be redirected. Equally worth reading are some of the comments. In particular, several by "Tim," which were made in response to "Mark." I've copied and pasted them below: Comment Stream by Tim : According to the ancient rabbis, as written in the Talmud, one of the problems in Sodom was heterosexual adultery which is quite different from homosexuality. The example the Rabbis give is Potiphar’s wife enticing Joseph to commit adultery with her in Genesis 39:9. In plainer words, according to ancient Jewish Rabbis, the men of Sodom were having sex with other men’s wives, not with other men. Take a moment to get your mind around that. This testimony from the Talmud is 2000 years old...

Drew Marshall Show — Round Table Discussion: "LGBTs & The Church"

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"Everything you ever wanted to know (and probably a bunch of stuff you really didn't want to know) about the Church and it's Public Enemy #1 – THE GAYS!" Link to Audio Scroll down to the third bullet item. Then click on the small speaker icon... It's directly above the 4th bullet. One Hour Round Table Discussion with Drew Marshall, moi and: Wendy Gritter: Executive Director of New Direction Ministries Of Canada  Dr. Lawrence Brice: Author of The Uncomfortable Church:  Can Gays be Reconciled To The Body Of Christ?

Please Share far and wide if you are Canadian

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Bill C-279 (An Act to amend the Canadian Human Rights Act and the Criminal Code (gender identity and gender expression) has been passed in Parliament by a very small margin and now goes to the Senate for a vote.  It is feared the Conservative majority in the Senate may try to do what Parliament couldn't and kill the Bill. We now must focus our energies on lobbying Senators and getting our friends and allies to rally behind us by writing letters and sending emails to the Senators. Yes, it may take a few minutes to do so, but we have waited too long for this to not do everything in our power to ensure this Bill becomes Law.  Whether you are straight, gay, lesbian or transgender, please consider writing an Open Letter to The Canadian Senate if for not other reason than to prevent tragedies like this one in the UK ...it could happen here. The subject line could be: Please support for Bill C-279 Greeting: Dear Honourable Senators Say something about who you are and why ...

Gender Identity is Not a “Behavior” Needing Repentance

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This week, Biola University's e newsletter has a story titled "Biola develops transgender policy as Cal Baptist lawsuit appears." The story goes on to explain how a former transgender student at Cal Baptist University (CBU) was suing the university for wrongful expulsion because she was transgender. The university counters that when the student registered, she committed fraud by indicating she was female instead of male, her birth sex. I guess Biola University thinks it prudent to develop a transgender policy posthaste to mitigate a similar fate, should a transgender person infiltrate their ranks. The problem for CBU, according to the article, is that though they have strong anti gay language in their statement of faith, they have nothing addressing gender identity issues or transgender persons. Maybe this is all Biola wants to ensure, that if they ban homosexuals, they better make sure they also ban transgender persons. I would hope, however, that wh...

Someone Asked If I Have Had a God Moment.

I've had many, but the question made me think specifically of Jacob wrestling God, how he walked with a limp thereafter, and how his name became Israel.  You could say I too wrestled with God and in  the end I too walk differently and have a new name!  My struggle with God was during the process I went through in reconciling my faith with being transgender. But I still wonder  why the solution to my deeply private struggle require I make such public and outward changes? I transitioned in 2008 at the age of 58, nine years after I was diagnosed with having acute gender dysphoria. The recommended course of action would include living full time as a woman for at least one year, hormone therapy, legal name change, and undergoing a final psychological evaluation before surgery would be authorized. The prospect was daunting, not just for its enormous financial cost, but also all the implications and ramifications on my wife and three adult sons. Nothing new here; thi...

At What Point Does One Throw In The Towel?

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More resumes were sent out today; I've stopped counting how many this makes . More resumes were sent out today; I've stopped counting how many this makes. In reality, companies have embraced the web for recruiting and refuse to accept resumes and SVs delivered in person. These virtual firewalls around the hiring person (s) have made the process impersonal and unresponsive, perhaps proving that it is not what you know but who you know that matters. Many friends have told me about the importance of networking. Others have suspected that my back story, which is not so secret, could be the reason for not getting any hits on my job applications. After all, in this internet age, little remains a secret for very long. Then, a fellow trans woman suggested turning my transgender status into an asset. Will companies see this as a positive, in the same way, that hiring visible minorities or disabled persons can earn them valuable bragging rights about diversity and equality? * * * * * A...

Your Cisgender* Privilege Does Not Entitle You to Heartless Ignorance

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My thoughts the day after Valentine's. I see so much judgement out there and it strikes me that the older one is as a transgender person, the harsher that judgement seems to be. It's as if people's attitude is, "You've lived with this up to now and it's too late for you to start making changes that make me uncomfortable, just take it with you to the grave and don't rock my boat!"  Though it delights me to no end that transgender children are embraced with compassion and empathy when they transition socially, there is definitely a double standard when it comes to us who are older.  Why can't society extend the same level of understanding to those who transition later in life? These are the ones who have "suffered" the longest with gender dysphoria and have significantly more challenges reworking their matured bodies to finally be able to experience congruence as persons. It makes no sense to me.  Sharing our transgender s...

What Am I Going to Do Now?

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Surprise! I don't know. Here is the thing. I have been living in Vancouver since June 23, 1973. In October 1974, I married the most amazing young woman. I met her in California in December 1971 at a Bible study. In 1976 we started a family and raised three sons; we were married for thirty-seven years.  For all those amazing years, my purpose was to be the best husband and father I could be. I'm not deluding myself by thinking I did a pretty good job, yet I know I could have done better. The reality that stares me in the face today is that I am single once again, and this causes me to feel unmoored most of the time. When one has spent such a long time together with your best friend, it is easy to take how that person completes you for granted. When a relationship ends, I have been told a thousand times it can be as traumatic and painful as experiencing the death of a loved one. Sometimes death would have been preferable to divorce; at least there is a sense of finality, but whe...

The Acceptance Meter: How well are trans persons accepted?

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I n preparation for a workshop I will be giving in January, I took a survey of transgender persons to quantify how well they have been accepted. The results were sobering, but not entirely surprising. The reality seems to be that we humans adapt much easier to strangers than to those with whom we have a history. As the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt. Even Jesus experienced this when He tried to minister among his own family and neighbors. In a recent survey that I took I asked trans persons to rate how well they had been accepted/affirmed by three groups: family, old friends and acquaintances, and new friends and acquaintances. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 was outright rejection and 10 was unconditional acceptance, the results were, well, disappointing.  Families scored 5.7 (the ratings were spread across the spectrum), Old Friends/Acquaintances were rated at 4.9 and new F/A rated the highest, at 8. This helps explain why so many trans persons have foun...

Has this ever happened to you, that you're surprised by comes out of your head?

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The comments I make in response to stories I read are gone from my mind once they get posted. Every once is a while I stumble across one of these comments and I surprise myself...I wrote this? Here is one example; it's something I wrote about a year ago: … Mr. Smid's post from this morning and his comment about feeling kicked in the gut resonated with me. My friend Kathy Baldock (canyonwalkerconnections.com) notified me about a comment made about me by Micheal Brown, author of "A Queer Thing Happened in America" in an recent interview. He said, "A husband is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church and should be willing to die for her sake." This was my obligation, but I failed as a husband when I chose to transition, according to him. For the most part, I concur with this statement, for it is what I did to the best of my ability for thirty-seven years in my attempt to deal with my medical condition. I am grateful for having had the grac...

Do I really look and sound like that?

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I have not been in front of a video camera very often, to be honest,  hardly ever.    So when I got the email from OnMyPlanet.ca that the video they shot of me last summer was ready for viewing, I took a deep break and clinked on the link. Here it is. The folks at OnMyPlanet.ca have been creating short videos of LGBTQ persons sharing their stories. Check out their site to view the other videos. Will you comment and/or share this post?  (thank you!)

Am I happy? Yes, but I'm also full of rage.

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I was recently asked if I was happy (about having transitioned, making the change, paying the price, etc.). I wonder how many people who knew me before are equally curious?    One friend admitted that he prayed for me to fail in my efforts so I would change my mind and go back to living as a man, but that was a while ago. It's been five years since I started to disclose to my family and friends, and I was nearly paralyzed by the fear that my life would be over. I was also afraid for my marriage and hoped it would survive. It didn't. So how to answer the question? The truth is that the answer is not a "yes" nor a "no." It is both. I have never been as at peace in my own skin as I am today, but that does not mean I am happy with life. The loss of friends did not materialize as I had feared, or I should say, it didn't happen the way I feared it would. What happened with old friends is that after their initial expression of love and support for my decision,...

Behind the scenes of "Ask a transgender Christian"

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A young woman I greatly admire is Rachel Held Evans . She is an amazing author, blogger, speaker, wife, mother, and a seriously articulate progressive Christian writer and blogger who is not afraid to enter into conversations that would make many others run and hide in their little dogma houses. Earlier in September of 2012, Rachel contacted me to see if I would be willing to be interviewed as part of her popular blog series titled "AKS A…" Would I be willing to be in the hot seat for "Ask a Transgender Christian?" My new friend Justin Lee, executive director of the Gay Christian Network (GCN) and author of the soon to be released book "Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate"  suggested me as the person to ask. (In the same way, Justin is the person Rachel chose for the "Ask a Gay Christian" interview. Having followed Rachel for several months, my initial reaction to her email was disbelief and trepidation, given t...

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