LISA SALAZAR — BLOG

Long before I could admit I was transgender, I spent twenty-one weeks trying to apply the teachings of Exodus to myself. In 1991 I became aware of a ministry at my brother’s church that was trying to help gays and lesbians change their sexual orientation. The program’s director was Marjorie Hopper, a very masculine-looking woman with a harrowing, complicated, and difficult story. For years she lived as a man and worked as a custodian until she was outed at work, and her world came crumbling down. She had a religious experience and became a zealous anti-gay advocate and eventually the director of the Living Waters program at Burnaby Christian Fellowship (BCF). Living Waters was one of the many ministries associated with Exodus International. In those days, as I struggled with my gender identity, I desperately hoped God would heal me and remove all my feelings of inadequacy as a man. The word transgender entered our vocabulary, and there were new ways of thinking that, honestly, scared ...

As I waited for my sister and Mom to come out to the car so we could be on our way, Mom’s next-door neighbor approached me to ask how we were doing. My Dad passed away a few weeks ago at the age of ninety-five, and this neighbor was one of the last to see Dad alive before he was admitted to the hospital. The neighbor’s name is Dave, and on many other occasions, we made small talk as we came and went. As far as neighbors go, he is the best anyone could hope for, always willing to lend my parents a hand. He is the quintessential handyman and Mr. Fixit, friendly, easy-going, and talkative. From the many years he has been my parent’s neighbor, he has been able to piece together a bit of my family’s history, that we were born in Colombia, how we ended up in Canada, that we owned a California-style Mexican restaurant, how many children my parents had and how that explained all the grandchildren and the number of cars that showed up for family events, filling all the available visitor park...

Enrique Salazar-Samper (April 7, 1918 – April 30, 2013) For the last few days, I have been humming the first few lines of the beautiful hymn, “How Deep the Father’s Love for Us.” I cannot help but make the connection between how much my earthy father, Enrique, loved us and how much our Heavenly Father’s love flowed to us through my Dad.  I don’t want this post to be about me, but I also cannot help but see my Dad’s love for me these last five years that I have been Lisa as evidence of just how powerful love is, that it can overcome even what seemed impossible, that a man at the age of ninety would be able to accept his fifty-eight-year-old son as his daughter. I am so grateful and blessed—it overwhelms me. Dad lived ninety-five years and twenty-three days...he was the last remaining member of his family to depart. The youngest of seven children, he had no memories of his mother, who passed away when he was only two. Along with my many cousins scattered throughout the Unit...

Who Made Me Gender-Role Police? The story is titled “About a Boy: Transgender surgery at age sixteen” by Margaret Talbot in the New Yorker Magazine (March 18, 2013). It talks about how many more females are coming out as transgender now than in the past. But as I reflected on the amazing progress trans people have made in recent years, it made me aware of my own subtle bias about gender-role conformity. Indeed, my doctors tell me that compared to twenty years ago, when it seemed that twice as many males transitioned to females than females to males, today there is equilibrium in the numbers, with as many females as males identifying as transgender. Margaret Talbot says this: In the past, females who wished to live as males rarely sought surgery, partly because they could “pass” easily enough in public; today, there is a desire for more thorough transformations. The subject of her story is a young transman named Skylar who underwent top surgery at sixteen, a much younger age than wou...

Here is a link to Matthew J. Roth's interview  with my friend Kathy Baldock. If you want to know the etymology of the words "homosexaul" and "heterosexual" and how they ended up in the Bible, you need to read this great interview! Click on the photo to be redirected. Equally worth reading are some of the comments. In particular, several by "Tim," which were made in response to "Mark." I've copied and pasted them below: Comment Stream by Tim : According to the ancient rabbis, as written in the Talmud, one of the problems in Sodom was heterosexual adultery which is quite different from homosexuality. The example the Rabbis give is Potiphar’s wife enticing Joseph to commit adultery with her in Genesis 39:9. In plainer words, according to ancient Jewish Rabbis, the men of Sodom were having sex with other men’s wives, not with other men. Take a moment to get your mind around that. This testimony from the Talmud is 2000 years old...

"Everything you ever wanted to know (and probably a bunch of stuff you really didn't want to know) about the Church and it's Public Enemy #1 – THE GAYS!" Link to Audio Scroll down to the third bullet item. Then click on the small speaker icon... It's directly above the 4th bullet. One Hour Round Table Discussion with Drew Marshall, moi and: Wendy Gritter: Executive Director of New Direction Ministries Of Canada  Dr. Lawrence Brice: Author of The Uncomfortable Church:  Can Gays be Reconciled To The Body Of Christ?

Bill C-279 (An Act to amend the Canadian Human Rights Act and the Criminal Code (gender identity and gender expression) has been passed in Parliament by a very small margin and now goes to the Senate for a vote.  It is feared the Conservative majority in the Senate may try to do what Parliament couldn't and kill the Bill. We now must focus our energies on lobbying Senators and getting our friends and allies to rally behind us by writing letters and sending emails to the Senators. Yes, it may take a few minutes to do so, but we have waited too long for this to not do everything in our power to ensure this Bill becomes Law.  Whether you are straight, gay, lesbian or transgender, please consider writing an Open Letter to The Canadian Senate if for not other reason than to prevent tragedies like this one in the UK ...it could happen here. The subject line could be: Please support for Bill C-279 Greeting: Dear Honourable Senators Say something about who you are and why ...

This week, Biola University's e newsletter has a story titled "Biola develops transgender policy as Cal Baptist lawsuit appears." The story goes on to explain how a former transgender student at Cal Baptist University (CBU) was suing the university for wrongful expulsion because she was transgender. The university counters that when the student registered, she committed fraud by indicating she was female instead of male, her birth sex. I guess Biola University thinks it prudent to develop a transgender policy posthaste to mitigate a similar fate, should a transgender person infiltrate their ranks. The problem for CBU, according to the article, is that though they have strong anti gay language in their statement of faith, they have nothing addressing gender identity issues or transgender persons. Maybe this is all Biola wants to ensure, that if they ban homosexuals, they better make sure they also ban transgender persons. I would hope, however, that wh...

I've had many, but the question made me think specifically of Jacob wrestling God, how he walked with a limp thereafter, and how his name became Israel.  You could say I too wrestled with God and in  the end I too walk differently and have a new name!  My struggle with God was during the process I went through in reconciling my faith with being transgender. But I still wonder  why the solution to my deeply private struggle require I make such public and outward changes? I transitioned in 2008 at the age of 58, nine years after I was diagnosed with having acute gender dysphoria. The recommended course of action would include living full time as a woman for at least one year, hormone therapy, legal name change, and undergoing a final psychological evaluation before surgery would be authorized. The prospect was daunting, not just for its enormous financial cost, but also all the implications and ramifications on my wife and three adult sons. Nothing new here; thi...

More resumes were sent out today; I've stopped counting how many this makes . More resumes were sent out today; I've stopped counting how many this makes. In reality, companies have embraced the web for recruiting and refuse to accept resumes and SVs delivered in person. These virtual firewalls around the hiring person (s) have made the process impersonal and unresponsive, perhaps proving that it is not what you know but who you know that matters. Many friends have told me about the importance of networking. Others have suspected that my back story, which is not so secret, could be the reason for not getting any hits on my job applications. After all, in this internet age, little remains a secret for very long. Then, a fellow trans woman suggested turning my transgender status into an asset. Will companies see this as a positive, in the same way, that hiring visible minorities or disabled persons can earn them valuable bragging rights about diversity and equality? * * * * * A...

My thoughts the day after Valentine's. I see so much judgement out there and it strikes me that the older one is as a transgender person, the harsher that judgement seems to be. It's as if people's attitude is, "You've lived with this up to now and it's too late for you to start making changes that make me uncomfortable, just take it with you to the grave and don't rock my boat!"  Though it delights me to no end that transgender children are embraced with compassion and empathy when they transition socially, there is definitely a double standard when it comes to us who are older.  Why can't society extend the same level of understanding to those who transition later in life? These are the ones who have "suffered" the longest with gender dysphoria and have significantly more challenges reworking their matured bodies to finally be able to experience congruence as persons. It makes no sense to me.  Sharing our transgender s...

Surprise! I don't know. Here is the thing. I have been living in Vancouver since June 23, 1973. In October 1974, I married the most amazing young woman. I met her in California in December 1971 at a Bible study. In 1976 we started a family and raised three sons; we were married for thirty-seven years.  For all those amazing years, my purpose was to be the best husband and father I could be. I'm not deluding myself by thinking I did a pretty good job, yet I know I could have done better. The reality that stares me in the face today is that I am single once again, and this causes me to feel unmoored most of the time. When one has spent such a long time together with your best friend, it is easy to take how that person completes you for granted. When a relationship ends, I have been told a thousand times it can be as traumatic and painful as experiencing the death of a loved one. Sometimes death would have been preferable to divorce; at least there is a sense of finality, but whe...

I n preparation for a workshop I will be giving in January, I took a survey of transgender persons to quantify how well they have been accepted. The results were sobering, but not entirely surprising. The reality seems to be that we humans adapt much easier to strangers than to those with whom we have a history. As the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt. Even Jesus experienced this when He tried to minister among his own family and neighbors. In a recent survey that I took I asked trans persons to rate how well they had been accepted/affirmed by three groups: family, old friends and acquaintances, and new friends and acquaintances. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 was outright rejection and 10 was unconditional acceptance, the results were, well, disappointing.  Families scored 5.7 (the ratings were spread across the spectrum), Old Friends/Acquaintances were rated at 4.9 and new F/A rated the highest, at 8. This helps explain why so many trans persons have foun...

The comments I make in response to stories I read are gone from my mind once they get posted. Every once is a while I stumble across one of these comments and I surprise myself...I wrote this? Here is one example; it's something I wrote about a year ago: … Mr. Smid's post from this morning and his comment about feeling kicked in the gut resonated with me. My friend Kathy Baldock (canyonwalkerconnections.com) notified me about a comment made about me by Micheal Brown, author of "A Queer Thing Happened in America" in an recent interview. He said, "A husband is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church and should be willing to die for her sake." This was my obligation, but I failed as a husband when I chose to transition, according to him. For the most part, I concur with this statement, for it is what I did to the best of my ability for thirty-seven years in my attempt to deal with my medical condition. I am grateful for having had the grac...