Posts

Drew Marshall Show — Round Table Discussion: "LGBTs & The Church"

Image
"Everything you ever wanted to know (and probably a bunch of stuff you really didn't want to know) about the Church and it's Public Enemy #1 – THE GAYS!" Link to Audio Scroll down to the third bullet item. Then click on the small speaker icon... It's directly above the 4th bullet. One Hour Round Table Discussion with Drew Marshall, moi and: Wendy Gritter: Executive Director of New Direction Ministries Of Canada  Dr. Lawrence Brice: Author of The Uncomfortable Church:  Can Gays be Reconciled To The Body Of Christ?

Please Share far and wide if you are Canadian

Image
Bill C-279 (An Act to amend the Canadian Human Rights Act and the Criminal Code (gender identity and gender expression) has been passed in Parliament by a very small margin and now goes to the Senate for a vote.  It is feared the Conservative majority in the Senate may try to do what Parliament couldn't and kill the Bill. We now must focus our energies on lobbying Senators and getting our friends and allies to rally behind us by writing letters and sending emails to the Senators. Yes, it may take a few minutes to do so, but we have waited too long for this to not do everything in our power to ensure this Bill becomes Law.  Whether you are straight, gay, lesbian or transgender, please consider writing an Open Letter to The Canadian Senate if for not other reason than to prevent tragedies like this one in the UK ...it could happen here. The subject line could be: Please support for Bill C-279 Greeting: Dear Honourable Senators Say something about who you are and why ...

Gender Identity is Not a “Behavior” Needing Repentance

Image
This week, Biola University's e newsletter has a story titled "Biola develops transgender policy as Cal Baptist lawsuit appears." The story goes on to explain how a former transgender student at Cal Baptist University (CBU) was suing the university for wrongful expulsion because she was transgender. The university counters that when the student registered, she committed fraud by indicating she was female instead of male, her birth sex. I guess Biola University thinks it prudent to develop a transgender policy posthaste to mitigate a similar fate, should a transgender person infiltrate their ranks. The problem for CBU, according to the article, is that though they have strong anti gay language in their statement of faith, they have nothing addressing gender identity issues or transgender persons. Maybe this is all Biola wants to ensure, that if they ban homosexuals, they better make sure they also ban transgender persons. I would hope, however, that wh...

Someone Asked If I Have Had a God Moment.

I've had many, but the question made me think specifically of Jacob wrestling God, how he walked with a limp thereafter, and how his name became Israel.  You could say I too wrestled with God and in  the end I too walk differently and have a new name!  My struggle with God was during the process I went through in reconciling my faith with being transgender. But I still wonder  why the solution to my deeply private struggle require I make such public and outward changes? I transitioned in 2008 at the age of 58, nine years after I was diagnosed with having acute gender dysphoria. The recommended course of action would include living full time as a woman for at least one year, hormone therapy, legal name change, and undergoing a final psychological evaluation before surgery would be authorized. The prospect was daunting, not just for its enormous financial cost, but also all the implications and ramifications on my wife and three adult sons. Nothing new here; thi...

At What Point Does One Throw In The Towel?

Image
More resumes were sent out today; I've stopped counting how many this makes . More resumes were sent out today; I've stopped counting how many this makes. In reality, companies have embraced the web for recruiting and refuse to accept resumes and SVs delivered in person. These virtual firewalls around the hiring person (s) have made the process impersonal and unresponsive, perhaps proving that it is not what you know but who you know that matters. Many friends have told me about the importance of networking. Others have suspected that my back story, which is not so secret, could be the reason for not getting any hits on my job applications. After all, in this internet age, little remains a secret for very long. Then, a fellow trans woman suggested turning my transgender status into an asset. Will companies see this as a positive, in the same way, that hiring visible minorities or disabled persons can earn them valuable bragging rights about diversity and equality? * * * * * A...

Your Cisgender* Privilege Does Not Entitle You to Heartless Ignorance

Image
My thoughts the day after Valentine's. I see so much judgement out there and it strikes me that the older one is as a transgender person, the harsher that judgement seems to be. It's as if people's attitude is, "You've lived with this up to now and it's too late for you to start making changes that make me uncomfortable, just take it with you to the grave and don't rock my boat!"  Though it delights me to no end that transgender children are embraced with compassion and empathy when they transition socially, there is definitely a double standard when it comes to us who are older.  Why can't society extend the same level of understanding to those who transition later in life? These are the ones who have "suffered" the longest with gender dysphoria and have significantly more challenges reworking their matured bodies to finally be able to experience congruence as persons. It makes no sense to me.  Sharing our transgender s...

What Am I Going to Do Now?

Image
Surprise! I don't know. Here is the thing. I have been living in Vancouver since June 23, 1973. In October 1974, I married the most amazing young woman. I met her in California in December 1971 at a Bible study. In 1976 we started a family and raised three sons; we were married for thirty-seven years.  For all those amazing years, my purpose was to be the best husband and father I could be. I'm not deluding myself by thinking I did a pretty good job, yet I know I could have done better. The reality that stares me in the face today is that I am single once again, and this causes me to feel unmoored most of the time. When one has spent such a long time together with your best friend, it is easy to take how that person completes you for granted. When a relationship ends, I have been told a thousand times it can be as traumatic and painful as experiencing the death of a loved one. Sometimes death would have been preferable to divorce; at least there is a sense of finality, but whe...

The Acceptance Meter: How well are trans persons accepted?

Image
I n preparation for a workshop I will be giving in January, I took a survey of transgender persons to quantify how well they have been accepted. The results were sobering, but not entirely surprising. The reality seems to be that we humans adapt much easier to strangers than to those with whom we have a history. As the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt. Even Jesus experienced this when He tried to minister among his own family and neighbors. In a recent survey that I took I asked trans persons to rate how well they had been accepted/affirmed by three groups: family, old friends and acquaintances, and new friends and acquaintances. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 was outright rejection and 10 was unconditional acceptance, the results were, well, disappointing.  Families scored 5.7 (the ratings were spread across the spectrum), Old Friends/Acquaintances were rated at 4.9 and new F/A rated the highest, at 8. This helps explain why so many trans persons have foun...

Has this ever happened to you, that you're surprised by comes out of your head?

Image
The comments I make in response to stories I read are gone from my mind once they get posted. Every once is a while I stumble across one of these comments and I surprise myself...I wrote this? Here is one example; it's something I wrote about a year ago: … Mr. Smid's post from this morning and his comment about feeling kicked in the gut resonated with me. My friend Kathy Baldock (canyonwalkerconnections.com) notified me about a comment made about me by Micheal Brown, author of "A Queer Thing Happened in America" in an recent interview. He said, "A husband is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church and should be willing to die for her sake." This was my obligation, but I failed as a husband when I chose to transition, according to him. For the most part, I concur with this statement, for it is what I did to the best of my ability for thirty-seven years in my attempt to deal with my medical condition. I am grateful for having had the grac...

Do I really look and sound like that?

Image
I have not been in front of a video camera very often, to be honest,  hardly ever.    So when I got the email from OnMyPlanet.ca that the video they shot of me last summer was ready for viewing, I took a deep break and clinked on the link. Here it is. The folks at OnMyPlanet.ca have been creating short videos of LGBTQ persons sharing their stories. Check out their site to view the other videos. Will you comment and/or share this post?  (thank you!)

Am I happy? Yes, but I'm also full of rage.

Image
I was recently asked if I was happy (about having transitioned, making the change, paying the price, etc.). I wonder how many people who knew me before are equally curious?    One friend admitted that he prayed for me to fail in my efforts so I would change my mind and go back to living as a man, but that was a while ago. It's been five years since I started to disclose to my family and friends, and I was nearly paralyzed by the fear that my life would be over. I was also afraid for my marriage and hoped it would survive. It didn't. So how to answer the question? The truth is that the answer is not a "yes" nor a "no." It is both. I have never been as at peace in my own skin as I am today, but that does not mean I am happy with life. The loss of friends did not materialize as I had feared, or I should say, it didn't happen the way I feared it would. What happened with old friends is that after their initial expression of love and support for my decision,...

Behind the scenes of "Ask a transgender Christian"

Image
A young woman I greatly admire is Rachel Held Evans . She is an amazing author, blogger, speaker, wife, mother, and a seriously articulate progressive Christian writer and blogger who is not afraid to enter into conversations that would make many others run and hide in their little dogma houses. Earlier in September of 2012, Rachel contacted me to see if I would be willing to be interviewed as part of her popular blog series titled "AKS A…" Would I be willing to be in the hot seat for "Ask a Transgender Christian?" My new friend Justin Lee, executive director of the Gay Christian Network (GCN) and author of the soon to be released book "Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate"  suggested me as the person to ask. (In the same way, Justin is the person Rachel chose for the "Ask a Gay Christian" interview. Having followed Rachel for several months, my initial reaction to her email was disbelief and trepidation, given t...

“Dear Sir”

Image
This had been the greeting in recent letters from the Canadian Revenue Agency (CRA). I called them to complain, but though the person I spoke to was very sympathetic, she could not change the gender marker responsible for the misgendering. She could not access this option; it was above her pay grade, and she gave me another 1-800 number to call. After wading through the menu options and waiting in the queue long enough to hear the “due to heavy volumes…” blurb several dozen times, I finally spoke to a real person who listened to my request and politely informed me I had to call another government office. After another 1-800 routine that lasted another twenty minutes, I learned I had to contact another office. After over one hour of phone calls, I was finally given instructions for what I had to do.  This insignificant one-letter change could only be done by going in person to a Canada Services office, and I would need to bring my Canadian citizenship card, my passport—both of w...

Arrested and tortured for being transgender, a Ugandan government worker gets asylum in U.S.

September 26, 2012 — This story had been previously posted in June of 2012 but was pulled after concerns were raised over some of the details shared. The story has been edited to address these concerns and names have been left out or substituted for security reasons. ____________________ On January 2, 2011, a young Ugandan lawyer, Tom, intercepted an email addressed to the Ugandan president, prime minister, cabinet, and all elected members of the Ugandan parliament. As a political aide in the Office of Presidential Affairs, it was his job to vet emails intended for the president and prime minister. The email was sent by Lisa Salazar , a Canadian Christian transsexual. In the email Lisa voiced strong opposition to Uganda’s pending “Kill the Gays Bill” (KTGB), challenging Parliament to reject the bill and work instead towards the protection of human rights for Uganda’s sexual minorities. That night after work Tom sent Lisa a private message from his home computer. He related ...

Even God was willing to compromise.

The headline reads: "Tea party radicals paralyzing U.S., GOP veteran says." The story is about the longest-serving Republican, Richard Lugar, who got bounced for being too moderate. Lugar is critical of the Tea Party’s influence in the GOP, which can be summarized as a purge of anyone who would dare compromise with the democrats, further polarizing American politics. For his part, Lugar has a record of working for the best of the country, even if it means making compromises to get things done, which is not an unreasonable and unrealistic position to have. I have always been somewhat dismissive of anyone labeling a person or group (political, religious, or otherwise) as “scary.” I’ve heard liberally minded persons call conservatives “scary,” and I’ve listened to conservatively minded call liberals the same. What bothers me about such labels is how they can sabotage intelligent dialog. Saying we fear the “other” is an admission that we don’t understand, and as we all know, fea...

Contact form

Name

Email *

Message *